A Single Girl’s Guide on How To Survive Valentine’s Day
Welcome to February 14th, the holiday filled with red hearts bursting at the seams with love, pink candy boxes stuffed with chocolate, and couples everywhere being happy. Remember that all this mushy stuff lasts for 24 hours; you can make it through!
First, wake up and be reminded that Cupid has unfortunately not struck anyone with his arrow of love just for you. Cupid must hate you. Despite this, you still expect something to happen throughout the day at school, but of course, there are no roses in your locker or notes from a secret admirer getting passed to you in the halls. Prepare yourself for a day of battle between fantasy and reality where your mind thinks that “the” guy will walk up and confess his true feelings but really knows it’s impossible.
The ways to make yourself feel better and less alone in life are simple. Five easy steps! Step one: hang out with your girl squad, and remind each other that you don’t need boyfriends! Except, then think how ironic it is that your friends WITH boyfriends are telling you that you DON’T need a boyfriend. Step two: go and buy yourself some candy or send yourself flowers. It’s good to feel loved, even if it is from yourself, right?? Step three: remind yourself that Valentine’s day is only a pointless, Hallmark holiday. Repeat out loud (if you need to) that Valentine’s day was definitely NOT invented by people in relationships trying to rub into single peoples’ faces that they have no one. Step four: have a date with yourself and watch the Parks and Rec Valentine’s Day episodes. Those are pretty good. Then throw in a rom-com or two, but not too many in fear of getting sucked into their perfect worlds of love working out. Finally, step five: cry under the covers and eat 500 calories worth of crappy store-bought chocolate. Sit in a pool of self-pity for the rest of the night, but then punch yourself and ask, “What are you doing with your life? What the hell have you become?!”
By now, Valentine’s day is probably almost over. Get some sleep and tell yourself that you are strong, amazing, beautiful, and someday, someone will come along and sweep you off your feet. Until then, you don’t need to wish or hope, because you are content with where you are. Then…boom! Congrats! You survived Valentine’s day!
Aaannnddd…you wake up the next day and you’re still single.
Good luck with that.
An In A Relationship Girl’s Guide on How To Survive Valentine’s Day
Exchange heart-shaped objects with your boyfriend, hug, kiss (and then some). The end, you survived Valentine’s day. Congrats. Yay. Wow. Aren’t you cool.
